Its hard to tell where exactly I am at because I feel like I'm still waiting for the second your to begin, and yet I'm going away soon to be returning on my third year. So what does that mean for me? What do I need to do in order to ensure next year will be the best year for me to learn and progress, to make the most of my university education and the time I'm paying for.
I need to treat this year like it was a bad dream I woke up from and forgot. Just a minor blip on the timeline.
What do I want to get out of my time here at university? I want to take everything I can from it, use the structure to teach myself routine and strict time management. Procure connections that I might otherwise never get. Make friends that I will carry with me into my career and who will prove invaluable allies for artistic guidance and career support. Ultimately I want to use this soon to be rare time, to see who I can push myself to become as fast as I can do it.
How am I going to up my game and show everyone and myself what I'm really capable of? Those are the easy questions ill be asking myself and answering over the next few weeks. Because I plan to make use of this summer in a way that Ive never done before. Ive always treated holidays as an escape, a time to relax and avoid the drudgery of work. But by doing this I usually lose sight of my enjoyment in art and forget about it...
That is what I'm excited for, because I feel like up until now I've been stuck in a mental traffic jam, unable to free myself and speed on ahead. My ambition was somehow lost along side my sense of self being. That's what happens if you neglect yourself and you fall prey to worries and stress.
I don't really know now where it is I want to go, but that's because I'm still pulling the pieces of me back together. Pretty soon ill be back working and ill know where I'm headed.
So for me this year was James performing at 20% I cant wait till next year, a second chance to redeem myself and hopefully secure my future in this industry. If everyone has to have a bad year, a really bad year... well I'm gad I had mine now and not later. Now I can bring it when it matters most and that's a promise I'm making to myself and those who've supported and believed in me along the way! No more Mr "that" guy.
Oh yea, soak in the motivation!!